In one of my extended phone conversations with a friend, we suddenly wandered onto the topic of ‘clicking.’ By this, I’m referring to what is it that means you get on so well with some yet not at all with others.
This then made me re-assess my relationships with many of my close friends. I can see why I get on so well with some – mutual connections, a love of fashion, good food, obscure films, a similarly surreal sense of humour, the list goes on….but at the same time, my friend Elliott just get on well because we both have the amazing ability to make the other person laugh heaps (Seriously, I end up with tears in my eyes and gasping for air like a dying fish).
Maybe whatever it is that sparked our friendships has little or nothing to do with the fact that we have or don’t have things in common and more to do with the initial spark, the initial ‘click’ that made us both think that it would be worth the effort and bother to learn more about the other person.
Sometimes, for me at least, it’s a shared experience. I met one of my friends at a MUN conference (NERDS FOREVER!) and weirdly enough, I still remember which countries we were delegates for (I was the UK and he was Belgium). I remember finding him intellectually intimidating at the time and feeling slightly inferior but to me now, that feels stupid. This isn’t because he isn’t as intellectually fierce as he was then, it’s just that when you bother to break that connection and get to learn more about the other person, you realise that you’re both pretty much made of the same stuff.
Whatever it is that sparks off any sort of relationship, there’s a certain degree of risk taking involved. Are you willing to invest time/effort and in some cases, money to get to know this other person, a potential someone? One thing I’ve found as I’ve grown older is that I’m far more willing to invest my time and energy in relationships with other people, despite the fact that I probably have more to do and less free time at any other point in my life.
Additionally, my ‘friendship’ standards have changed. Previously in my senior school days, any potential friends would be vetted – the clique they were part of, the school that they went to, the way they dressed, talked and their mannerisms all determined whether they’d make it onto my list of buddies or not. Looking back now, I’ve realised that my narrow approach meant that I’d missed out on getting to know a bunch of people I’d probably enjoy the company of. These days, I don’t have a ‘type.’ Provided we can spend a sufficient amount of time together without wanting to set fire to each other and make each other laugh/gigglesnort, there are strictly no criteria.
So maybe this whole ‘clicking’ thing and friendship analysis isn’t important at all. Perhaps what IS more important is mutual respect, not being bothered about artificial social limitations (does anyone really care about who’s ‘cooler?’) and just wanting to let your hair down, going crazy and having a truckload of fun. ♥
