Dinner for one.

Probably running away from yet another bad dinner date. 

Ok, so I’ve had lunch by myself a few times – a quick dash to Pret or grabbing a cardboard sandwich mess from the uni café but never a full blown, sit down dinner. I suppose to me, having dinner out is more than just eating. To me, dinner out means catching up with friends, bonding and just spending quality time with people I genuinely care about. In most cases, food usually comes second to the people I'm eating with, to the point where sometimes I’m either totally unbothered by crap food or I’ll just quickly mention to that it’s bad/good/really good and return to the main conversation.

Anyway, against this backdrop of thinking, I found myself in the awkward position of being all dressed up and having nowhere to go.  I figured it was the perfect opportunity to do something I had wanted to for quite a while…dinner date myself.

According to my friend Chris, you are your best date. This makes perfect sense – you know what you like/don’t like, you’re unlikely to start up banal conversation and in all honesty, you probably know that you’re relatively fun to hang out with in the first place. This made me think back to all the times when I’d been stuck with someone at a restaurant, alternating between planning a Great Escape-esque exit plan and desperately wishing that the floor would develop into a huge black hole and suck me into vast and infinite nothingness. I suppose I could at least guarantee that wasn’t going to be happening this evening.  

So, with my companion sorted, it was time to figure out where the hell I was going. I’d been wandering around peering into various places when I spotted a man sitting at the front by himself with a huge cheeseboard. This then made me realise that I wanted to be like the man with the huge cheeseboard and have no one to interrupt me while I got my kicks from munching through mounds of unpasteurised dairy and in the process, potentially contracting Listeria like the hardcore risk taking rebel I am.

Anyway, after darting into potential cheese heaven, I finally got to say what I’d been wanting to all along – asking for a table for one. I’ve been told that when you’re a girl asking for a table for one it usually garners one of two reactions. This is either an inquisitive, slightly confused look as the maitre d’ wonders whether they’ve misheard or a look of sympathy as they assume there’s a bad reason as to why you’re engaging in lonesome dining. I got neither.

In the Russian roulette world of table service, I had hit a definite jackpot. The service was in short, totally awesome and in fact, better than if I had been with someone- I was able to summon a waiter with just a quick glance. I think dining alone is also a pretty good way of reviewing restaurants. Your experience as a solitary diner really says a lot about the level of service in a restaurant. I’ve heard stories from friends of being pushed into the darkest, deepest depths of the restaurant and getting crappy service due to being alone. Not here though - I was given a table for two, right by the huge stained glass window.

I also found myself actually caring about what I was eating. When you’re engaging in heated conversation with someone, you don’t really get an opportunity to sit back and appreciate the presentation and execution of what you’re presented with. Another plus is that you can tone down table manners and just focus purely enjoying the food, as opposed to freaking out over whether you’re conducting yourself improperly. It also means going totally WILD and ordering two starters/mains/desserts, dabbling in everything, hogging the whole table and just having a relaxed dinner. It’s an oddly liberating experience and the perfect opportunity to indulge in some one on one time, be totally selfish and focus solely on you having a fab evening. There are no worries about whether other people are having a good time, no obligation to entertain and no awkward ‘what next?’ especially at the end of dinner dates.

So those are the positives. I won’t lie; there are a few not-so-great things about solo dining. Maybe I’m just overly into the social element of dining but I really missed the companionship element. I’m totally fine with spending time by myself but I do think it is possible to OD on Renie-time.

Also I seriously lucked out with my first ever solo dining experience. I’ve heard from (mostly female) friends that it can bring with a whole host of problems. Unwanted male attention from idiots who think they’re doing you a favour, too much table service because they feel sorry for you, feeling like the desperately lonely batty cat lady while staring at loved up couples, being over-charged and too afraid to deal with it, dealing with odd looks from waiting staff and other diners or just being treated like crap because you’re a woman dining alone and they assume you’re a loser who was unable to get a date/you don’t have friends/you won’t complain about bad service.

There’s also another gender divide when it comes to what people think about solo dining. Most of my male friends are totally unbothered about going it alone and finding it relaxing/therapeutic and it’s a regular, completely normal occurrence for them. Less so with the girls.

Maybe it’s because girls are expected to be taken out to dinner by interesting male companions – the dinner date concept is central to dating these days and it’s impossible to get through the early stages of a relationship without the obligatory dressing up and going out for dinner at some trendy wherever, complete with playing footsie under the table, gooey staring and the awkward over the table hand holding.  Or maybe it’s because girls are meant to come in a gaggle – a bunch of girls getting together for dinner, drinking cocktails and discussing the hottest new club/men/fashion/gossip (we need to thank Sex and the City for this). Maybe it’s a combination of both or maybe it’s neither.

Hey, maybe we should just not care and be totally comfortable with who we are and extend this to spoiling ourselves, not giving a toss about what waiters/other diners think and just celebrating our own awesomeness over a full blown, multi-course orgy of gourmet decadence? Yes. 


Mini-update: For those asking, I dined at Bibendum. Seriously recommend! :)